LONDON–In a surprise announcement today, the World Grand Masonic Lodge acknowledged that it is, in fact, a shadow world government whose authority covers every of facet of human activity, from international politics, world commerce and space exploration to fast food menus and American Idol.
“We chose today to make the announcement,” Sir Hiram Wayfarer, the Grandmaster of Earth, said in a brief statement, “to coincide with the 5,000th anniversary of the completion of the great pyramids of Giza, the event that marked the beginning of the true World Masonic Government.”
An anonymous source close to the Grandmaster added, however, that the timing of the announcement was more likely due to the fact that an underground group of conspiracy theorists calling themselves “The Ruffians” were poised to reveal several potentially dangerous secrets, including the existence of the World Masonic Government, or WMG, as it is known by insiders.
“The problem was not so much with them exposing the WMG — that’s been an open secret since Napoleon’s day. What prompted the Grand Lodge to act was that these guys were going to allege a connection between us and an alien race of reptilian overlords. I mean really crazy stuff. We had to get out in front of this story.”
When asked if there were indeed reptilian overlords present on earth, the anonymous source declined further comment.
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As reported by your faithful corespondent, Lirpa Sloof.